Wow, it’s like the role of a woman just fully hit me in the face! My beautiful bundle is 2 years old, and its only just now that I’m feeling this overwhelming pressure to be everything to everyone.
Its not even just motherhood, its everything. It’s being a mother, a wife, a student, a cleaner, a housekeeper, a chef, a maid, a washer upper…….. you get it.
And for a while now I’ve been putting so much pressure on myself, and feeling like I’m not doing a good enough job! I’m not being the best mother, or the best wife, because I’m exhausted!!! I literally feel like I haven’t slept in like 3 years, or at least not properly. You know those sleeps, those deep sleeps where you can just fully relax, you don’t have to worry about getting up in the morning, or if your toddlers gonna have a meltdown in Asda again, and a bunch of arse holes are going to glare at you like you just went toilet in the middle of the store………! You haven’t got to worry about the bills, cuz you don’t really have any, or what your going to wear cuz your wardrobe is full of options, you don’t think about your body and how its changed cuz everything still toned, tight and standing to attention, you have no worries, and you can rest your head without a care in the world. I need me one of those sleeps!
So anyway, the house is a mess. Its always a flippin mess! So how come it seems like I spend everyday doing some sort of housework. Its never done. NEVER. Even when I think I’m done, something else will magically appear and here we go again. My son loves a tidy house specifically so he can put his toys everywhere and mess it all up again.
Toys in the washing basket, toys in the toilet, in my bed, in the chair, on every inch of the floor ready to**** you up in the middle of the night when you go to the loo! In the bath, in the cupboards, in the sink, in my underwear drawer, EVERYWHERE!!
The washing is constantly growing, I don’t understand, and its just ALOT!
So anyway, I’ve been upset about it lately, thinking its all too much, trying to get my degree, be a good mum, good wife, look good, keep fit, support my hubby, plus deal with all my own personal shit, and then I realised hold on a minute…..Why on earth am I stressing about my house so much. Why am I crying because the clothes are piling up or because there are dishes in the sink, or because I DO NOT want to cook tonight, or because I can’t see my living room floor through the toys. Like did anyone die? No. Does my son give a shit? No. Do I have the queen coming to visit every day, or anybody else for that matter? Errrr No! So why would I put this massive pressure to be this perfect housewife?
After thinking about it for a few days I said do you know what F*** house work, the fact is I have other commitments that are way more important right now and what’s the point in crying over a house that never stays tidy.
So I have a new approach and its working a treat. I feel so much more happy and less stressed out.
No.1 I make sure my sons clean, happy and fed.
No.2 I make sure my hubby’s happy and we make time for each other.
N0.3 I concentrate on my Uni work.
No.4 I have me time, gym, sauna, swimming, which by the way is amazing. Just me myself and my music, de-stressing and relaxing.
No5. Housework, and if I’ve had a long day and I DONT fancy it. I leave it and I refuse to feel bad about it anymore, it will get done the next day and as long as my house is not dirty, I can live with the mess!
Moral of the story: When you die, no-ones gonna give a shit if your house was tidy. Live your life and be happy!
PS: After about a week of this I gave in! You could eat your dinner off my living room floor now! It wont last though, I’m sure I will have another F*** the housework fit in another few days.