Dear Mum

I can’t seem to get you out of my head.

I thought it would get easier when I had my own child but it hasn’t.

If anything I think about you more than I ever have done before.

When I hold my son in my arms and feel the rush of love transpire through my body, I think of you.

When I’m sad and down and nobody really understands what I’m going through, but a smile from my son make everything seem OK again……..I think of you.

I thought of you when I got married……..I wished you could have seen me.

I thought of you when I was carrying a little life inside me, going through the emotions you must have gone through too.

I think about all the times we could have had together, smiling and laughing, fighting and crying, cussing and shouting. I think of you.

I used to hate you when I was little, I would tell myself you were a selfish bitch and I didn’t need you……..but I do. I even told my friends at school all about you.

I gave you a name and I pictured your face……you were so beautiful. You had this amazing smile that could light up a room.

I think of you when I’m counting my blessings,  I wonder if your blessed too?

I cry myself to sleep sometimes because I may never get the chance to meet you.

I look at my son and I can’t imagine what you went through.

I thought I knew what love was before he came into this world, but that wasn’t true.

I think of you in my dreams and pray that God will send a message to you.

If I have to pray everyday till I die, then that’s what I will do, just so I get my message across, just so u will know.

I don’t hate you anymore Mum…….I just really miss you.

Your Long Lost Daughter

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